Fitting in or having the life you desire?

In a conversation with a friend one day, when asked how I was as I moving through a problem that came into my life.  I replied that I was focusing on solutions. She responded that she would do the same but since everyone else was complaining about everything, she felt she wouldn’t fit in unless she did the same.

I asked her, and I ask you “Which is more important – fitting in or having the life you desire?”

“The definition of Insanity is doing the same things

and expecting different results.”~ Albert Einstein ~

When you start focusing on your Desires, and you start to have them and accomplish them, you will not longer “fit in” with the people who choose to focus on the problems and the excuses. Only you can decide if you want to fit in with the people who criticize and complain, or fit in with the group of people who are having and accomplishing their deepest Desires.

As you write your List of Desires, answering two questions with each one may enlighten you and clarify your commitment:

(1) How will I change?
(2) How will this change my life?

“It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways,

but it's that place in between that we fear . . . .

It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to.” ~ Marilyn Ferguson~

Be deeply honest with yourself. Will you feel more freedom? Will you feel happier? Will you be more generous? Will you be afraid of what others will think and say? Will you be nice or mean?

Some people stop themselves because they are afraid of actually having what they really Desire.

“The most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become. “ ~ W.E.B. Du Bois~

Others are afraid people may not like them.

”When you rise above the masses you will always become a target.

Just as a flower grows taller than the surrounding grass,and becomes a target for the nourishing sunshine,it also becomes a target to be cut down.”

~ Sumner M. Davenport ~

Others are afraid of becoming “like those mean or dishonest people”.

“Success does not change a person, it only allows them to express

who they really are on a larger scale” ~ Victor Frankl ~

By reviewing your reactions to the questions and your honest answers, you will find your fears. However, accompanying those fears will be your solutions. When you make an agreement with yourself how you will grow in a positive way, you will be able to see the obstacles that have been in your way. Some of these obstacles may have been deep in your subconscious and now in the light of your awareness, you can make conscious choices. Only though being deeply honest with yourself will you see what has been stopping you in the past, up until today. In the unconscious these obstacles may be seen as large and overwhelming as a mountain. In the light of your loving acceptance, they can be reduced to the size of a pebble, and you will be able to remove them from your path and continue moving forward.

“The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself” ~ Alan Alda ~

When you write how you will change next to your Desires, you will be reinforcing your positive change every time you read your List.

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”

~ Epictetus ~

Nutrition Choices

The FDA plans to order vending machine operators, chain restaurants, bakeries, coffee shops and other food retailers across the country (except movie theaters, bowling alleys or airlines) to prominently display calorie and other nutrition information on menus and menu boards.

Do you believe this will make a difference with people and their nutrition choices, or their weight?  Are we letting the laws make our decisions for us on our eating habits?

Please share your thoughts.


More on the announcement can be read in the LA Times

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No more resolutions

Learn something and do something NEW this year

Learn something and do something NEW this year Last year went fast didn't it? How did you do?  Each year millions of people have a reaction to the transition of one year to the next. Some people are happy with their results. Others want something to change. Some people exceeded their goals and are excited for their next results. Others are struggling to make ends meet, find love, drop those extra pounds. Some will be glad the year is over. Some will end yet another year with regrets. What does this new year hold for you? Will it be more of the same or are you looking for a change? Even those who are happy with their results last year, many would still like something new or a change in something in the coming year. New Years Eve is the re-start of many old habits. Millions of people will voice new years resolutions in one night, and within the week over 75% will have broken them. Some people know they will never meet their resolutions but a small flicker of wishing and hoping that this year will be different motivates them to say them anyway. So many people fail to prepare or plan for their success, instead they lunge forward with the same habits and behaviors that got them to this point today. If you like the results you are getting, then by all means, continue with your current behaviors. On the other hand, if you are open to a change in anything, consider starting your New Year differently. "The definition of Insanity is doing the same things  and expecting different results."          ~ Albert Einstein ~ Tip #1: Don't make New Years resolutions this year.  Make your acknowledgement list instead.  Studies show that the best time for a sales person to make a sale is right after you made one. The best time to create another success in your life, is right after you have just experienced one.   Why is that? It is because your energy is now focused on success, feeling good about  what you just accomplished and you are feeling a "success high".  So then it would make sense that the most difficult time to set new goals or resolutions is when you are not feeling confident, not feeling proud of your accomplishments or not feeling successful. Yet this lack of success is what most people are feeling when they set New Year resolutions. This seems to be one answer to the question as to why over 75% of people give up on their new resolutions after only a couple of weeks. Start your New Year with a "success high" and propel your self towards greater success in 2011. Start by NOT making New Years resolutions this year and make an acknowledgement list instead.  "The more you focus on and list your accomplishments, the more accomplishments you will recognize." ~ Brenda Stuart ~ Download a copy of the free Acknowledgement Questions here Tip #2: Purchase a three ring binder, preferably one with the clear front and spine so you can insert a custom front cover page. You will also writing paper and tabs for this binder and a separate spiral notepad. Throughout this year this binder can assist you in getting your best results.After answering the questions on the Acknowledgement pages, punch the appropriate 3 holes in the pages and place them in this binder.  Start a list today with your accomplishments and add to the list everyday. These accomplishments can be large and small.  Keep your sheets in your three binder under the "success" tab.  As you receive inspiration or creative ideas write them on a clean sheet and place that sheet in your "Inspiration or Ideas" tab.Just in case you might be saying, I don't have time to do this, please stop and re-read the quote from Albert Einstein above. Tip #3 Become aware of old habits that might attempt to deter you from your new direction.   Keep your self motivated. Visit Karen Drucker's music page for a FREE full-length MP3 download of a song titled: There's Enough from her CD - Shine. Many studies have been made on the effect that music and sounds have on a person. Take the few minutes to listen to this song, and then add to your acknowledgement list.  Karen Drucker is a gifted song writer, entertainer and speaker. Her music motivates, inspires, assists with healings and helps people to stay centered. Let this song remind you that there is enough. Free e-book THE MAGIC STORYThe Secret of being what you have it within you to be, plus a very important Key. A man down on his luck encounters a long time friend, who only recently had been in the same near bankrupt  situation, yet now his life has changed dramatically for the better.   Excerpt: "...I was down on my luck thinking of suicide, looking for you, hoping you would lend me enough to pay my rent, when I met Sturtevant. He told me a story and, really, it is the most remarkable story you have ever heard; it made a new man of out me. Within 24 hours I was on my feet and I've hardly known a care or a trouble since....Everybody who has heard the story had done well since, including two of my friends. They have experienced the same results that I have; and they are not the only ones..." What is this Magic Story that changes people's lives? Can the story do for you what it has done for others? Click here to get Your FREE copy of THE MAGIC STORY e-book

You make a difference

This little movie has a huge message

Watch this move
and validate someone today.

More Movies with Messages

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How can you improve what is already perfect?

Investing in ourselves starts with understanding the difference between the Self, (the person) and a person's behaviors.

By saying a person needs to improve themselves suggests that they are wrong, are incomplete or imperfect by someone else's standards.


In everyday life, many people are quick to judge and label someone as a bad person or a loser because of their personality actions, or their behavior at the time.

Many children are traumatized (and this is carried into adulthood) because at a young age, they were told over and again, that they were bad. When in truth, the behavior that they exhibited at the time was not the desired behavior from the adult’s perspective, or the peer’s perspective. The child themselves is not bad or good. The behavior is different from the being.

A great deal of guilt and damage is made to a person's self esteem when they believe they are not as successful, as beautiful, as wealthy, as (fill in the blank) as someone else; when they measure their worthiness in what they have; or measure by their gender or race.

All the choices we make, conscious and unconscious, in our personal and professional life are based on the information we have at the moment, our premature cognitive commitments, our experiences, our education, our fears and other reactions.

Investing in ourselves can teach us how to RESPOND rather than REACT.

When we invest in ourselves we look at the reasons for our choices and keep those choices that help us to reach our desired results. When we invest in ourselves we set our own standard and measurement of success.

When we invest in ourselves we listen from inspired guidance and then choose inspired action that assists us to achieve our desired results.

Your "Self " is not what has happened to you and not who other people judge your "Self " to be, and your "Self " worth is not based on other persons' acceptance.

All persons were born winners and born worthy.

 Years ago and every day there is a race and, in most cases, only one winner.
Each person is the winner of the race.

It is a sperm race. A race to determine which sperm would be the ONE to impregnate the precious egg. The others were not born as losers. Only winners had the opportunity to be born. You were the winner from your own very beginning. So is every other person, a winner in their own race from their own beginning. Each may have taken a different route and embraced different behaviors and personality, however the fact does not change that everyone is born a winner and still is.

And as a winner, everyone is worthy of everything wonderful that is bestowed upon a winner.

Behaviors and habits are choices.

If the results a person is now receiving in their life is not representative of the winner they are, then different choices and behaviors will result in different results.

As a sportsman, when Tiger Woods did not come in as champion in a golf tournament was he labeled as a loser? I didn’t hear it anywhere. Did he label himself as a loser? I doubt it. Most sportscasts I heard, and I believe Tiger thought the same, was that he did something different that time and it caused him to come in second instead of first. Sports teams look at the recast of their games when they aren’t the champion of that game so they can see what behaviors need to be changed to get them the winning result they know they deserve.

It’s never too late to recapture the truth about yourself.

In my experience, I see that when people begin to see the difference between their behaviors and their genuine self worth, the healing begins.

Excerpt from book: "Self Investment not Self Improvement"

AUTHOR:
As a Solutions Consultant, Sumner Davenport works in harmony with her clients to assist them in discovering solutions, not just answers to achieve their goals.
As a best selling author, Sumner is sought after as a speaker and is quoted often. One of her quotes was voted to be included in the Top 10 Healthy Thoughts of 2007.Her greatest passion is seeing people live the life of their dreams while assisting others to do the same. Click here to contact her by email