Wednesday, February 6, 2013

How do yo value yourself?

How often do you look to other people to tell you how good, creative, pretty or worthy you are?  Everyday countless people base their opinion of themselves on other people's judgments.

Recently Ellen DeGeneres celebrated her birthday. If you watch her show, then you are familiar with how often she encourages her viewers to participate in creative ways. Prior to her birthday, she asked her viewers to make a bust of her. Although I had never done anything like this before, it seemed like it could be fun.

I spent over 30 hours building my creation and when it was complete, I  felt proud of my accomplishment. I made her skin from the pages of her book. Well, it was photocopies of the pages, because I didn't want to tear apart a good book. Her hair, eyes, lashes, cheeks and lips were made from Halo kibble bags and canned food wrappers. Instead of stopping there, I placed her head  atop an actual functioning gravity flow cat food feeder and clothed it in a long-sleeved royal blue t-shirt complete with a hand painted ellen logo on the front. At the end of the sleeves, I created hands, again covered in pages from her book, and I fashioned her wedding ring from, the flip top of a Halo can.  This way, I wanted it to appear that she was offering a meal in her hands. Even my animal companions got involved. My dog, Tigger, "sorted" the supplies for me several times, and Merlin, the cat, tested the size of the box and even gave my completed project an affectionate sniff and rub.

On her show, Ellen also said that if she liked what she received then she would display it on her show. Because Federal Express is good at providing tracking information  I knew my gift was received several days before her birthday show.  Unfortunately, it wasn't displayed with the collection on her show and it isn't included in the gallery on her website. Based on her comment, she must not have liked what I created and sent to her. At this point, many will say that the giving of a gift is sufficient, which it is. Regardless of how she or anyone else may view a custom gift I give, the level of love in it's creation is still very real.

Have you ever had the experience when something that you offered or created, was not accepted or received with the same enthusiasm you had hoped? We all face surprises and disappointments every day. Many spiritual leaders will tell you to expect nothing, yet we all know that deep inside we are hoping for a positive result.

"The deepest desire of every living being is to be loved."

We have all experienced disappointments and times when others didn't see what we saw in our work; however, it's when we define ourselves by those disappointments or the opinions of others that we are losing who we really are.

"You are not who other people judge you to be and your value is not based on other person's acceptance."

When someone doesn't give you the praise you had hoped for, does that make your gesture or action of less value? Does it mean that you are of less value? Absolutely not! Many people place their value on the acceptance and opinion of others. They MUST be accepted in order to feel good about themselves, or the action they took. The truth is that regardless of someone else's opinion, your value is an inside job.

Disappointment is an honest emotion. If we look at the harmony of life, we have several natural emotions.  

Instead of attempting to ignore or kill off an emotion that has been given a bad label; or one that you don't enjoy the feeling, choose to embrace it instead. What can it teach you about yourself? What is it doing for you? What is this emotion doing that is working against you, or preventing you from accomplishing?

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